A mother’s epiphany

Morning, earthly beings. The clock shows 2 am. Sleep eludes. The mind wanders. It’s amazing how each day, each experience changes us. Adds another layer, another dimension. We evolve, mature and adapt. We think something is beyond us and yet we manage to accomplish it just fine. If every small experience is capable of altering us and our lives imagine how bringing another being into this world would affect us……

How lil Z changed J.

Z was born in early spring of this year. J’s life has never been the same since. Everyday has been a novel adventure. J thinks she has changed in both subtle and dramatic ways. Life has taken on a new meaning and purpose. Priorities have changed and ideologies have shifted. Some dreams and aspirations have been put on the back burner for the moment.

Pride and vanity have given way to compassion and worry. Shopping trips revolve around little booties and colourful onesies. The Prada bag can wait a while. J no longer wanders along the aisles in stores, staring at each item (even if not remotely needed). She makes a list, scurries into the store, dumps items into cart and is out in a trice. Time is of essence you see. The little being dictates it.

Self-indulgence and sloth have given way to nurturing and festination. Gone are the days of endless sleeping and mindless eating. Now every wink of sleep is accounted for and every morsel of food is eaten with lil Z in mind.

J no longer frets if the dishes are not done or if the bed is not made. The laundry can wait. So can the parlour appointment and the girl’s day out with girlfriends. Everything can be squeezed in somehow, around and beyond the little being’s schedule .

All schedules and plans are made in good intent. Knowing full well that they will most likely go awry. Long drives are not always relaxing anymore. Movie halls are a no-no for a while and so are late nights.

J is often described as driven and career oriented- nothing fazed her or got in her way. Not anymore. She constantly worries. Even trifle matters regarding Z bother J. And career? Well, J has taken a break from the rat race. She will get back into it eventually, as a stronger and better J most likely.

J aims to be a role model for lil Z. So she cannot live frivolously. She realises, the rudderless life is an era past. New horizons beckon. New responsibilities weigh on her. New dreams- this time not for herself. New aspirations.

J may not like ALL the new changes in her life. But it was bound to happen. The time had come. She had had enough of her old life. The pre-Z life was swell but it was getting ho-hum. Z has brought a unique newness to J’s life and she is loving it! There are downsides of course… these seemed like unimaginable sacrifices once but now they seem like trivial inconveniences. (The inconveniences will erode over time and the changes will become second nature.) The upside is that gorgeous, gorgeous smile and that teeny tiny hand holding J’s finger. That is all she needs…. J is happy… for now……

J.

P.S.-  J see’s HER MUM in a new light now!

Love you Mum and appreciate every little thing you have done. I know it must not have been easy…..For all those times I was difficult…… Remember…. What goes around comes around!