“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
How does one not feel inferior? How is self- worth determined? And what is the consequence of being worthy?
Most struggles in life revolve around the balance between desires and assets. How much we want versus how much we have. What we wish for against what actually transpires. Discontent sets in when we aren’t receiving from life what we think we should, when people don’t treat us the way we think they should.
We often dictate to others that we are worthy of everything. We are entitled to the sun, moon and the stars; the life, the after-life and the virgins and riches therein. We whine and sulk when others’ valuation of us doesn’t match our expectations- we are worthy of the universe after all.
It’s tricky though isn’t it? If we truly thought ourselves worthy, would we be so easily offended by off- handed criticism. Why would we be besieged by doubt every time someone makes an insignificant comment. Why gloat at praise, that may even be insincere. Why puff the chest at commendation?
It sounds wonderfully stoic, almost Roman generalesque to believe we are above such pettiness. Say what we may, there is probably nothing that can truly be called ‘self- worth’. We are a sum of all our experience, life- lessons and our current environment. We mirror the people around us and their energies seep into ours. Their life- lessons and experience colours our perception of life.
You may believe yourself to be the most accomplished- a virtuous, model human. Yet, if you are told everyday that you are unworthy of the title- you are meek, incompetent, unreliable, UNWORTHY. It chafes, and rubs and skins your sense of ‘self- worth’. Your self- worth is therefore an idea of who you wish to be plus occasional reinforcements of your self- ideation by statements of approval and appreciation from fellow humans. Therefore self- worth is not some high moral virtue, it is a petty sense of importance.
Yet, it is an all important ingredient to a decent life. Without self- worth, there is no life worth living. Because if you don not feel so good about you, then there isn’t much else that can feel good. It is therefore imperative we surround ourselves with people who will fuel our sense of worth. Not with false- praise and over- inflated commendations, but with genuine admiration. An overfed self- worth makes for an obnoxious, obese ego. Get to that and we have pushed this business of self- worth too far.
Till next time,
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