Being bleak and pessimistic in nature, it is hard to discern things like virtue or progress. To me, at the core, everyone is grey and every situation is desolate. We are all rotten, and therefore so is the world around.
Accepting these truths, makes bearing life a tad easier.
But life should be lived! It is not a burden to bear. It is a gift. So they say.
But I can only see what I can see. And feel only what I can feel.
Yet, despite what you may perceive to be abject negativity; I can still vouch for one thing though. We are moving. It is accruing.
Onwards and growing.
We appear unmoving, stuck, trapped. We may appear to be chipping away at our souls every day, waking and dragging ourselves around, doing mundane things that seems to serve no purpose; and see no meaningful growth or success. It happens to me all the time.
To the even more unfortunate bunch, who suffer from chronic ambition and the visceral need to be ‘better’; things are worse. The bleakness is harsher, more profound. It sucks the life-force from you, much like a Dementor.
Emotions are not reality though. They are constructs of the mind, which sometimes holds multiple mirrors around ourselves which makes it hard to know what is an illusion what is reality.
What has helped me survive thus far, and trudge on through the trenches of life is- along with being a perennial pessimist, I am also a factual rationalist. And facts may distort but they do not lie.
The fact is despite how one ‘feels’, we have grown. Actions performed everyday, for any length of time have consequences. The effects compound. The results accrue.
Just like the earth that appears still, yet, the cyclical days and nights prove that it is not so. We appear still, but we are moving. Towards our inevitable death, yes; but also toward our legacies. Therefore, however nugatory our efforts may seem, they do have worth. The worth which only becomes apparent from a distance, when viewed through the lens of time.
I have to constantly remind myself that I am moving. The work matters. The minutes, hours, days and weeks matter. The hustle isn’t completely pointless after all. And almost everything of note or value, is to be acquired/ made/ produced/ achieved over time; while the sadistic universe sits with her popcorn and watches us fail and fall and stumble and fumble and give- up and give- in and cry and scream and then cry again.
Thus we go on. Onward, and growing.
And most importantly, if not forward, then where?
Till next time,