Weekends.

Couple dynamics in contemporary families is a complex, almost incomprehensible affair. Our roles should not be defined by gender we promulgate, yet within the confines of our individual homes, away from prying eyes of family, friends and society;  we are often left wondering what it means to be The Wife or The Husband. We battle stereotypes and prejudicious beliefs that are deeply entrenched within our conscience and despite our elaborate education, extensive travel and exposure to varied cultures and experiences, we are left confused and conflicted.

Stay-at-home- dads and “helpful” husbands are sometimes demeaned. Women and mothers who work are often arraigned.

The only smart way to deal with all the internal conflict is to often just let things slide, and treat each day on it’s own merit. To not assign strict domestic roles and treat each task and chore as a separate entity. Easier said than done, I know. And what works for us, may not work for you and your family.

Weekends are ironically, the hardest days. A day(s) that should ideally be spent with emphasis on rest and recuperation, more often than not ends up being one of chaos and haste. The woman goes to sleep on the eve of the day in question, her mind full of plans and an almost a minute by minute blueprint for the next day. Of course, it is an entirely different matter how much of it actually transpires in reality. The man, despite his earnest intentions to help is mostly looking forward to a quiet day of eating and seating. Eating delicious (preferably home cooked) meals and ‘seating’ in front of the television, on the couch with his best friend aka ‘portal to the internet’ (not his wife in this case) on his lap.

At the end of the day, you are left harried and irritated, both of you; thanks to your different approaches and agendas. And instead of looking forward to or being prepared for another hectic work week ahead, you start the week jaded and fatigued. The cycle if not interrupted, rolls on viciously until it all reaches tipping point one day.

Therefore, for the sake of healthy experimentation and change, I have decided to not have even an iota of a plan this weekend. I have no clue when I might put the laundry in or if and when I might prep some meals for the week. Would I study for a bit? Would I actually check my blog or reply to my emails? Will I take Lil Z to the park or the beach? Will there be time to pick up some new toys and books for The Little One? Can I finally get to completing my weekly log?

Who the hell knows! All I know is that it’s almost time for lunch, and the sum total of what I have managed to do this morning is lounge on the couch and flick the laptop open, type random rubbish to you folks as I watch Morgan Freeman give the performance of a lifetime as Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding while Mr H and Lil Z snore the morning away.

Have a good one folks.

Till next time..

Dr J.

P.S. By the time I hit the “publish” key it’s past sunset (1730 hours). I sit at Corniche, sipping some tepid tea, alongside the weekend crowd; with the oddly shaped pyramidal Sheraton on my left, the quiet sea in front of me and the maddening Doha traffic to my right. So if anyone is around here, pop in and say hello. Or marhaba!

Exhaustion.

“My head aches, my eyes burn, my arms and legs have given up, and my face in the mirror has a grayish cast. The bed, across the room, calls in its unmistakable lover’s croon, Come to me, come, only I can make you truly happy, oh, how happy I’ll make you, don’t resist, remember how you moan with pleasure the instant we touch…..

Laura Acosta”
Lynne Sharon Schwartz, Fatigue Artist

And so my dearest beloved, my friend forever and my closest confidant (as I often murmur unspeakable secrets into the non-so-fluffy-anymore cushions) calls out to me. Unkempt and chaotic, my bed seems to purposefully mimic my life and circumstance; so as to say-

I am just as you, like you.

And therefore shall not judge you.

I shall welcome you to my soiled but loving sheets with nothing but comfort and understanding.

I shall not croon words of advice or sing songs of fake commiseration.

I shall offer you the biggest gift of all.

Silence.

And a gentle place to rest your tired limbs and jaded mind.

Come to me, my love.

And we shall together dream dreams of a brighter, better day.

I realize now, that exhaustion, like everything else in life is relative. And incomparable. At 23 I thought being on-call for 30 hours was exhaustion. Little did I know, there are levels of exhaustion that are far, far beyond the limits of my then young, juvenile mind.

There are also several kinds of exhaustion. Metaphorical, physiological, philosophical, physical, mental, notional, fruitful and utterly unproductive. And then there is a type that cripples you. A dark, demonic concoction of all of the above.

There is price to pay for everything, folks. But it is thoroughly unfortunate and oddly ironic, if the price for material contentment is arrant exhaustion. For the latter shall never let you savor the former.

Sigh!

Till next time,

Dr J.

Ma Wednesday! Mommy pangs.

Ugh. This is turning into quite the mommy blog. I seem to write about Zoe and my Mummy adventures more than anything else. Apologies, if you find these mommy rants boring and repetitive. It’s just that, even though I have a dozen (read half a million) other things going on in my life, this one aspect of me (or my life) seems all consuming.

Nothing else worries me, irritates me, gives me more joy than motherhood does. It also sucks me dry. Tires me like nothing else does. Honest to God, running a marathon IS easier than taking an 8 hour flight with my little one. NO joke. No exaggeration.It sounds utterly rehashed and cliched, and I’m one to stay away from cliches but I cannot put it any other way.

Irrespective of how I interact with people in real life, I try to remain true to myself here, on this blog (I shall not share my “swearing, short- fused” self though!). Therefore, even though I wish to appear as an uber- cool, fuss- less, manicured, soft- spoken, poised Mum who always has a handle on things, I sometimes end up being the stereotypical, routine, blubbering, weary, confused, screaming Mum who can’t get her scrambled eggs done.

All said, we contemporary Mums seem to make a lot of fuss and noise about parenting and motherhood. Our parents and the generations before them did this too. With far less brouhaha. We need to step down a notch or two I assume.

I digress from what I wanted to address today- me missing my “little one”.

Oooooh! I miss her so much.

I love my feisty, boisterous, destruction-on-two-legs, crazy 14 month old, but I miss my cuddly, cooey, calm, less-mobile little baby. I was so caught up in the storm of things, her first year of life seemed to have slipped by.

I feel like I did not cherish it enough. The picture of her in my mind, as a newly born, miracle six and a half pounder, already seems hazy. The sleep deprivation and the poo explosions at 3 am is now a distant memory. And it has barely been a year!

The sands of time slip away, ever so hastily, while I try my best to reign in the chaos and hold on to a precious few moments to cherish and enjoy each day.

I feel this eerie sadness, for the passing of her infancy; I can only imagine the state I’d be left in when she leaves the home to go to college or to pursue her own life and dreams. I dread that day.

I also look forward to it!

She is no longer the sedate, content baby, and getting food into that tiny belly is more difficult than fixing a really, really bad fracture; but she still surprises and delights me each day with her spunk and personality.

The very attributes that drives me up a wall, are traits that will one day stand her in good stead. Single- minded, stubborn, willful, ever- smiling, and not- easily distracted from task at hand- I can slowly see fleeting snippets of what she may grow up to be.

The Mister who until recently called me a Diva/ Drama- Queen has to now reckon with a whole new level of Diva- ness! She has him hooked around her little finger. Lord bless the poor soul 🙂

Extremely vociferous, with a uncanny knack of letting us know exactly what she wants, even with the limited vocabulary of hers; I know these are priceless days. And when she is in her terrible twos, I will sorely miss my crazy but loving one year old. I will possibly even miss her terrible twos when I have to trick her into doing her pre- school homework!

I see a pattern developing here. So, I need to step back and vow to always (or at least sometimes) try and live in the moment. Each day, unbeknown to us is a blessing that we will not receive again. Every day is unique, and one that shall never be relived or repeated no matter how much we want it to. A day may be mundane, exciting, joyous, miserable or boring; but it can never “be the same” as yesterday, or the day before that.

I hope I remember my vow, even when I have a glass of milk thrown at my face with tiny hands!

Till next time..

Dr J.

Feeling chatty.

Hella folks!

Another weekend post. I know, it’s been a flurry of posts. I am in compulsive blogging mode 🙂 And it is only on weekends such as these that I can sit back and chat up.

So, what makes for a beautiful Sunday?

A laid back, late start. Check.

Getting all dolled up in traditional garb and putting on blingy, uncomfortably high heels. Check.

A sumptuous, elaborate lunch at an old buddy’s wedding. Check.

A food induced nap with a book resting open in your hands. Check.

A drooly, well rested baby, Check.

Family coffee chatter, visiting relatives and associated bedlam. Check.

Trying out and tinkering about with newly purchased creams, lotions, make-up and goodies. Check.

Home breaking- in of shiny, new boots. Check.

Planning and bickering over the next family vacation with the Mister. Check.

Prepping for a long, work- week ahead. Check.

‘Twas a day of petty accomplishments and immense relaxation folks.

Oh no, this isn't it. There was so much more, just couldn't wait around!
Oh no, this isn’t it. There was so much more, just couldn’t wait around!

 

Menu!
Menu!

 

Perfecto!
Perfecto!

What were you folks up to this weekend?

Till next time..

Dr J.

 

 

Chillin’!

I love Saturdays (or Thursdays, depending on which part of the world I am in at the moment). It is a warm, fuzzy kind of love. It is conditional though. I wouldn’t love it if I were on call/ duty the next day. So yeah…

We are spending the evening chillin’ at home. Not in the least bit inclined to brave the traffic and get out. Nah!

Some coffee, some reading, some toys and loads of fun!

The only way to get things done.
The only way to get things done.
Trust me, the
Trust me, the caffeine is essential.
The end is near for the poor coffee mug it looks like!
The end is near for the poor coffee mug it looks like!

Hope the lovely folks in the GCC had a wonderful weekend, and here’s wishing all the others a lovely weekend ahead!

I hopefully will spend some quality time with The Blog this weekend (so do keep visiting!).

Till next time..

Dr J.

 

 

Of almost perfect Saturday afternoons.

A nippy, crisp day.

An early start.

A rare, idyllic drive without being stemmed by signals. Missed all ten of them!

A Chopin enthused procedure room.

Couple of challenging but snippy procedures.

An early return home.

Sumptuous, homely, comfort food.

An uncommonly long afternoon nap by the Little One.

Customary cover to cover reading of The Daily Paper.

Flipping through glossy monthlies.

Catching up with social media.

Reading for business.

Steaming cup of Earl Grey.

Virtual window shopping.

It’s amazing how much “time” 150 minutes is!

Now, a post- sundown run hopefully.

And a hot shower to soothe and calm the ignited muscles.

Who knows, I might even catch a whole night of sleep 🙂

Either way, it was an almost perfect Saturday afternoon folks.

The to-be-treasured kind of Saturday.

How was yours?

 

FullSizeRender (49)

FullSizeRender (51)

:-)
🙂

Till next time..

Dr J.

 

An epic trip!

Hella folks!

It’s been barely four days, since I last spoke to you folks. But it seems like ages.

The trip was everything I had hoped it would be. And more. I met tons of family, had kilos of great food and soaked in the lush greenery and sticky heat that my “hometown” (different from my “home”) offered. It was akin to being the proverbial “prodigal daughter”. I was welcomed with open arms and willing smiles. I was spoilt for choice in terms of homes, food, people and places.

I have vowed to never let this happen again. Where I stay away for so long. Family is a blessing which should not be taken for granted, I realize.

The train ride back has drained even the reserve energy within and Lil’ Z must be wondering why she is waking up at a new place every morning. Probably the reason for her uncharacteristic crankiness.

I better snooze for a bit. Am back to work from tomorrow, after a very long hiatus.

Another era commences.

Will share more soon.

Till then….

Dr J.

Of starting something new and re- starting something old….

Finally, a week of tangible progress. Of palpable movement.  I have been withering in stagnation the past few weeks. And just when despair was extending its vicious but welcoming arms, pleasant changes arrive, bearing gifts of calm and relief. And hope.

Lil Z is tiny, helpless and fragile no more. She is now a perfect little human being with a personality to match her crazy mum’s! She had her first taste of “food” this week. Boy, was it a funny sight! After all the hospital visits, worry and frantic running around of the initial months, just watching her do mundane things is a sight to behold.

So many new starts for her this week- A walker, a high-chair, a sippy cup, her first bowl and spoon, her first morsel (okay gruel is more appropriate!) of food….

While Z is embarking on new and exciting adventures, her Mum slowly starts to crawl back to her old ways. Old, comforting, refreshing ways. The constant two- hours- to- the- next- feed days are almost behind her. Getting out of the house is easier. Not sleeping is not so hard. The old jeans fit (Oops! Correction- “are loose”). The books on the nightstand are back. Shopping is fun again. Work outs can be squeezed into schedules….

This past week, I ran my first 10K in more than a year. It’s hard to believe that just a couple of months ago I’d thought it’s all over. That life would never be the same again. That I’d never be able to do the things I once did.

Well, some things will never be the same again. I realize that. But those things were never meant to be permanent anyway. The things that matter, are slowly going back to being the same again. Am I making any sense at all?

Being at home, not working, being responsible for someone other than myself, sacrifices, responsibilities that can never take a break, sleeplessness, fatigue, worry, anxiety, despair, hope, love, support, family……Aah! Life seems to have come full circle.

For the briefest of moments, I feel the bliss of infinite calm. Just for a moment. I shall savour it while it lasts. For I know all too well, chaos is just round the corner.

It always is!

Till the next ramble…

Dr J.

Lil Z’s guide to Beaches in Qatar! Episode 2 – Twilight rendezvous at Al Wakra Family Beach.

Morning lovely people!

We go on yet another “beachy” adventure….

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Since my last post, Mama and Papa have been keeping very busy. We hardly have time to go out. But last week, we suddenly decided to take a trip to the family beach at Wakra. We were to meet some friends. Colleagues of Papa and their families. Lil kiddies just like me!

It is fairly close to Doha city…

wakra beach map wakra beach earth

Mama and Papa seemed to have learnt their lesson (thanks to our last trip!). We wanted to escape the heat as much as possible, so we left our home only in the evening. It was a short drive. There was hardly any traffic.

My view as we drive by….

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Papa’s view….

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It was almost sunset, when we reached the place.

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_DSC0062Unlike last time, there were so many people there. Lots of cars…And dust…And sand…

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Do not worry, no tickets to enter!

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Cars and more cars!

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There is a security guard at the entrance, he only allows the “families” inside I’m told.

And lots of children frolicking in the water, in the play area, on the sand….

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The air smelled of the sea, smoke and barbecues! Everyone seemed to have a grill and a sheesha on hand. All the kiddies had their floaties, buckets and shovels. Few of them were burying each other in the sand.

Z cant wait to get older and play ….

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One and a half more to go!

We did not carry any food with us, as it was an impulsive trip. So we just watched others eat and have fun…

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After a while, the humidity (I think that is word for the damp heat that makes me sticky!) started getting to me, and I decided to cry and let Mama and Papa know.

As we sat under the sun and the moon, the damp sea breeze calmed me down and lulled me to sleep.

_DSC0112We were home in a jiffy. I was in a cranky mood. So off to bed I went….

Till the next beach….

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Lil Z.