Finding my sunshine

I am truly envious of those people. Those people who are content. Happy with where they are and glad of their circumstance. They make me green- eyed and feel ‘not so virtuous’. I secretly covet their lives and their calm, sedate existence of contentedness. I wish I had their strength of character, a character that is not greedy for more. That does not wish for what they do not have.

The dark corners of restlessness and discontent beckon the fidgety green eyed monsters within. I yearn for the hearty sunshine of thankfulness and satisfaction. The sense of fulfillment is a distant mirage, on the darkened horizon. Just out of grasp. Ever tempting, never attaining.

But, can a sated mind ever conjure the new, the unseen, the unparalleled? Can blissful contentment ever lead to  inventiveness and creativity. If I do not wish for the bigger, better, faster, , fancier; if I do not wish for MORE wouldn’t the world I know stall? And degenerate. And rot in the depths of mediocrity?

A fulfilled soul, is one that is ready to move on. Move on to the worlds beyond. If I am truly content, then what is it that I live for? What do I aspire to?

I’m good now, but I swear I know I can be better. In every way.

All you lovely, content and happy folks; revel in your sunshine of mirth and calm. The kinds like me are forever doomed to languish in greedy corners and battle the discontent. Our kind will never be truly happy, but we shall make your lives better, happier and MORE.

We strive harder, for we wish to overcome the disquiet within. We get better, in the hope of feeling better.

We too shall find our sunshine someday, or fabricate our own- to fill at least a small corner of our dark, restless world.

“Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.”
Lao Tzu

Till next time..

Dr J.

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