I have nothing to post on this Grubbie Tuesday. Stove and I have broken up. Scalpel and I have gotten back together.
I’m back to eating for sustenance rather than pleasure.
Hmmm…. the above sentence may not be entirely true!
I thought, I’d ditch Grubbie Tuesdays. Maybe make it my Blog Holiday.
But here I am, powering up my lappy to blog when I should be reading up for tomorrow. Typing with no preordained topic in mind.
I was flipping through Whuthering Heights as Zoe slept on me. (We miss each other terribly when I’m at work. So, we are inseparable once I come back home!) And I thought I’d let you folks know why I keep going back to the book. And why it is an ageless, timeless classic.
“I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff’s miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being.”
“I’m wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart: but really with it, and in it.”
“Treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends; they wound those who resort to them worse than their enemies.”
“I wish I were a girl again, half-savage and hardy, and free.”
“I have dreamt in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind. And this is one: I’m going to tell it – but take care not to smile at any part of it.”
“I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death; and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, Ellen, and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him.”
“He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine.”
“Why did you betray your own heart Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. … You loved me – then what right had you to leave me? Because … nothing God or satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of you own will, did it. I have not broken your heart – you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want to live? What kind of living will it be when you – oh God! would you like to live with your soul in the grave? […] I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer – but yours! How can I?”
“Be with me always – take any form – drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!”
“And I pray one prayer–I repeat it till my tongue stiffens–Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you–haunt me, then!…Be with me always–take any form–drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!”
This is why!
And please do note, I am not the hopeless, romantic sort. (We don’t do the roses and chocolates routine. A nifty, new gadget or a calorie – laden treat is welcome though :-)) I still can relate to the story. No idea why!
Pray do tell me folks, does such a love exist?
Till next time…
P.S. Meanwhile let me ask Mr H if he’d rather be stuck in the abyss or does want me to haunt him 😉